Yeah, it's been a while, but there have been many disappointments in the movie industry lately, and I finally managed to drag my ass back into writing.
This will be short, because disappointment or not, I must write of the heresy that is in fact...
This dreadful blasphemous remake is one of the more satisfying of the remake/adaptations of this past year. I decided to rent this based solely on the fact that I had gotten the giggles so bad in high school when I saw the original 1951 version. I mean, I love my little saucers circling D.C. on string. It just wasn't the same, as I soon found out.
So, I settled in to watch this, expecting mind-fuckery with the special effects, yet all I received was what was in the commercials.
OH HAI! YOU'VE BEEN DUPED!
Now, while the plot kinda more or less sticks to the original, with GORT being all...Imma eatcha! and whatnot, I think it lacks...naivety. It really does. The 50's version was all about the impending cold war. This is all about going green.
Yes, you heard me. The whole damn thing is about going Green. Like we're doing at work. Like Greg Grunberg of 'Heroes' fame is doing in commercials. Like...
I'm gonna stop now.
Anyway. Jennifer Conolly. The famous eyebrows of Requiem For A Dream. I didn't actually mind her much as the female protagonist. I did, however mind that ineffectual actor known as...oh, now what was his name?
Oh, yeah.
Keanu Reeves.
HE WOULD BE THE LAST FUCKING PERSON I WOULD HAVE PICKED TO BE KLAATU.
Come on, Pewpies! What's wrong with you guys?! KEANU? I know he's all emotionless and stuff, but that's how he acts in every movie he's done, sans the timeless classic Bill and Ted.
But the real star in the movie was Jaden Smith. Will Smith's kid is a dead ringer for him, and even more so, following in his footsteps well. He had an amazing turn as a kid with a grudge against the "alien." He was awesome, and the scene in the cemetery was seriously srs bzns. Srsly. He was so frickin' cute, too!
Anyway, since this is a remake of a classic, I will allow you, the viewer, to decide if this movie truly is heinous or not. I just wasn't for it, and will probably never watch it again. Ever. I would rather watch "The Day The World Stopped", which I swear I passed on the shelves in Blockbuster the other night. Fo realz, yo.
So, on that note, I shall leave you, Good Citizens. And remember, if you don't go green, Keanu will eat your babies and send big evil robots to dissolve into bugs and eat you car payment bills so you can't pay.
Z
