10.17.2008

"My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet dreams about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and the Great Homecoming Fuck Fantasy..."

As are the wonderful last words of Private Joker in one of the more classic movies of our time, Full Metal Jacket.



Hi folks! Yes, it's been a crazy month, but there really hasn't been anything worth posting as I've been slacking in the movie watching department.



Look for another blog later today. I'm trying to make up for lost time.



Anywho.



I have always wanted to see this movie. I'm a big fan for R. Lee Ermey and everything that crazy man does. And this...well, this...this just takes the cake for every basic training movie I've ever seen. Which is few, considering I really don't watch that many.


But this movie was amazing.


A product of the year 1987, Kubrick brings to life a view of basic training during the Vietnam war and newbies going into battle. Very many of the cadets are not given backgrounds of any sort, even Joker, the lead character, played by a very young Matthew Modine, and for the purpose of making this a run on sentence, I think it adds...an estranged feel to it. You kinda don't wanna know what's going to happen to these guys, because according to many of the vets, it wasn't pretty. While there isn't a whole lot of Napalm bombing, and Agent Orange uses, and Mortar, and fun stuff like that, there is a whole lot of blowing shit up. I have to say, for 1987, Kubrick outdid himself in the special effects department. He takes a wonderful hint from the Godfather movies with the bloods prays, and some crazy ass grenade launching. Which reminds me, I have yet to beat Battlefield: Bad Company.


Anyway, basic training is obviously first in the whole shebang. We're introduced to the leading cast: Pvt. Joker, Sgt. Hartman, Pvt. Gomer Pyle, and Pvt. Cowboy. These are your main guys for the first act of the movies, as I've noticed that many a Kubrick film is done in acts that are easily distinguishable.


Joker is the main character for the last three quarters of the film. Cowboy makes a massive appearance in the third act, and some of the first.


Then the man of the hour: Gunnery Seargent Hartman. That title makes me laugh because a friend of mine's boyfriend is a Gunnery and he fucking loves this movie. Although, he does remind me a lot of Gomer Pyle. Only, without the retarded thing....


Ah. Gomer Pyle. Played by a seriously retarded looking Vincent D'Onofrio. The guy apparently put on about 70 lbs. for the role alone, breaking De Niro's record, apparently, according to the all knowing IMDB.COM.


So, we have our characters. Cowboy...not so important in this act. Joker is assigned squad leader for Pyle because Pyle is a total loss in the joint and the only thing he can do right is shoot and take care of his rifle. He can't run, can barely do the obstacle course...scratch that, can't do the obstacle course at all, and can barely even tie his own shoes. Joker is assigned to shadow the guy and teach him everything. Now, Pyle being in the squad gives Hartman reason to spew some of the best insults in movie history ever recorded. Writing those lines wouldn't justify them. You have to hear them. Anytime during the excersises, like the sound offs he sings to them during the jogs and stuff is priceless.

There's a crazy ending to the first act, and one I totally didn't expect at all. The only thing I knew was that this was the infamous bathroom scene, and that the title of the movie came from a line here.

Needless to say, we're gonna jump cut to the next act. A filler really, and something that really didn't hold my attention so much. I love Kubrick, but after the insults are done, I was ready for action. And that doesn't really show until the third act.

They're in Vietnam now, and it opens with Joker and his good budy Rafterman, who's busy taking pictures. A hooker comes up and delivers the ever so famous: "Me so horny. Me love you long time."

Well, I literally fell off my bed laughing cause I had no fucking idea that it came from this movie.

And what an awesome way to find out!

So we find out that Rafterman and Joker are part of war correspondance, I guess, or Field Journalism, they call it. They take pictures and write inspiring stories for the troops who probably don't even know they have some kind of newspaper. These guys are ready for some action, and a lot of the training squad has been split up. So, they're stationed at...Da Neng, I wanna say. I don't even know if that's how you spell it, but anyway. They get attacked, and then get moved to an actual squad somewhere else, where Joker meets up with Cowboy.

And here starts the other third of the movie.

From here on out, I'll leave you on your own. But this is really something to see if you haven't seen it already.

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